Why your perfect communications can still fail
You’ve crafted the perfect message. It’s clear, concise and skimmable. It’s personalised for the right audience and approved at the highest levels without a single red pen in sight. You hit send, confident this one’s going to land, but then there’s nothing. People don’t act or respond. They don’t share. They might even push back.
The truth is, you probably missed the one thing that matters most: emotion.
So, why doesn’t logic work first?
In business communication, we’re trained to focus on the know and the do:
What people need to understand.
What we want them to do next.
We tick both boxes and assume the job is done, but there’s a third box that’s just as important and it’s the one most communicators forget: the feels. Neuroscientist Antonio Damasio’s research found that without emotion, decision-making is almost impossible. Even when we fully understand the facts, our brains rely on feelings to choose a direction.
Which means your audience’s decision to read, click, sign up, donate, or change a behaviour isn’t made in the rational part of the brain alone. It’s finalised in the emotional centre.
The hidden driver behind decisions
Every day, we make thousands of micro-decisions:
Do I open this email now or later?
Do I agree to this meeting invite?
Do I wear the comfortable shoes or the new ones?
Many of these are made in seconds and when speed is involved, our brains lean heavily on what psychologists call the affect heuristic. That’s when we use gut feeling rather than pure logic to decide. So, here’s the kicker: If people already feel negatively about your topic (suspicious, bored, overwhelmed), no amount of bullet points and clever phrasing will cut through. You’re starting from an emotional deficit.
The emotional gap in communications
Here’s a simple way to think about it:
Know → The facts you need them to understand.
Feel → The emotional state that will drive the right action.
Do → The behaviour you want them to take.
If you skip “feel,” you might still get understanding, but you won’t get movement.
Imagine telling staff: “Our new IT system will go live next month. Training will be available online.” Clear? Yes. Actionable? Sure. But will they want to learn it? Will they be ready for change? Probably not.
Now imagine reframing it:
“For years, you’ve told us our systems make your work harder. We’ve listened. Next month, we’re launching a new platform that will save you hours each week. Here’s how to get ahead of the change so you’re ready on day one.”
The second version taps into relief (finally, less admin) and control (you can get ready now). Same facts but a different emotional entry point.
Here are 4 ways to bring feels into your comms:
1. Make it relatable
Statistics and group labels can feel abstract. Humans connect with humans, especially individuals we can picture. Instead of saying: “Hundreds of families are affected.”
Say: “When Maria’s home was destroyed in the floods, she didn’t know where to turn. Your donation gave her a safe place to stay.”
By showing one face of the problem, you make the emotional impact immediate and tangible.
2. Prime the mood before the message
Your audience’s emotional state before they hear your message shapes how they receive it. So if you want to motivate, open with a short video of people succeeding. If you want to spark urgency, use a striking statistic or an image that hints at consequences.
All of which helps people be in the right headspace to understand why your message matters.
3. Frame for impact
How you present information can either overwhelm people or make them lean in. Instead of: “Volunteer for 200 hours this year.” Try taking a note from Katy Milkman (et al) and say: “Volunteer for 4 hours a week.”
It’s the same commitment, but one feels manageable and the other feels like a huge ask. So when you’re framing a message, think about which emotion will move people: pride, hope, curiosity, even healthy frustration, so not always sadness or guilt.
4. Tap into identity
We all want to act in ways that align with how we see ourselves and how we want others to see us. Phrases like “As leaders…” or “As part of our community…” subtly remind people of their role and values. For example: “As a parent, you know how important it is for children to have access to healthcare, no matter where they live.”
Now the ask isn’t just about taking action, it’s about living up to a chosen identity.
You can have the most perfectly formatted, beautifully written, logically sound message in the world… and still fail to move people, because communication isn’t just about transferring information. It’s about inspiring action and that only happens when your audience feels something strong enough to tip them into doing.
So before your next campaign, email, or speech, ask yourself:
What do I want them to know?
How do I want them to feel?
What do I want them to do?
The “feel” is the bridge between knowing and doing. Without it, your message may be seen, but it won’t be felt and if it’s not felt, it won’t be acted on.
